Family Life

Benefits of Marriage Counseling

Posted by on Feb 14, 2019 in Family Life

I’ve been married for more than twenty years now. Sometimes people ask me what the secret to success is, and I tell them that friendship is always more important than love in marriages. Famous philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche once said that “it is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.” Figuring this out takes time. Even if you have found your best friend, life changes us and people may be light years different than they were just five years ago. Keeping that relationship strong through the changes of life requires constant, honest communication. Staying close through hard times takes a renewed commitment every day. Sometimes, life can get extremely hectic, and subtle ticks in a relationship can turn into huge problems over the course of a few months. You may not know how to communicate without hurting your partner. You might feel like you don’t know how to be intimate anymore. Thankfully, there are people like Kathleen Snyder who counsel married couples through these hard times. There’s no shame at all in seeing a marriage counselor. My wife and I have considered seeing one several times. Making an effort to see a counselor doesn’t mean your marriage is weak. It means that you care about the relationship, and want to make it stronger.

Therapy usually ends up happening in two main parts. The first part is conflict resolution. If you feel like your relationship with your partner isn’t going well, there are likely some conflicts at play. A counselor seeks to find these conflicts if they’re subtle. A counselor will also create clear boundaries on how the conflict should be addressed. They can help partners vocalize and communicate as to how the conflict can be resolved in a way that works for everyone.

Once the major conflicts in a relationship have been resolved, a counselor can work to help rebuild the friendship that is so crucial between partners. A counselor uses their creativity here to come up with ways to enjoy new experiences together, and rebuild that lasting bond that fosters intimacy.

A lot of the fights that occur between marriage partners are normal. It’s very typical to disagree about certain things within a marriage. Disagreement can be healthy and constructive. It’s usually the way we express ourselves that cause feelings of loneliness to sprout.

Marriage counselors like Kathleen Snyder are great for any couple that is looking to move past feelings of isolation in a marriage. They do important work that can revitalize marriages that might otherwise fail. Marriage counselors aren’t miracle workers, however. If one partner is not interested in rebuilding the relationship, most counselors will be unable to help. Counselors are only of help when partners are willing to try new things and experiment in order to heal. Counselors are also unable to help those involved in violent relationships on part of one partner or both. Relationships cannot heal if the conflict at home escalates into violent behavior. Anger management is the first step to recovery in situations such as these.

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Division of Property and Debt in Divorce

Posted by on May 21, 2017 in Family Life

Divorce can be a legal nightmare, especially if these are contentions in the agreements between the couple involved. One of the most common issues involve division of property and debt, which is understandable, because each person will fight for his or her best interest in mind.

It is a good thing that there is a legal way to divide assets and liabilities, preventing unfair distribution. There are two legal concepts that can be utilized – community property and equitable distribution.

Community Property

According to the website of Holmes, Diggs & Sadler, there are two separate categorizations of property in divorce – namely community property and property of a single spouse.

Community properties are properties owned by both the husband and wife. These include the earnings and everything that has been acquired with those earnings in the span of the marriage. Debts that have accumulated during the marriage are also considered community properties, unless the debts are specified to be for one spouse only. Generally, community properties are equally divided upon divorce.

Properties of a single spouse are properties owned by only the husband or wife. These include acquired assets prior to marriage, such as pension proceeds and even entire businesses. Assets that have been meant for one spouse only, like gifts and inheritances, are also included. These properties are kept by its rightful owner upon divorce.

Equitable Distribution

Equitable distribution is another way to divide property. It ensures that the division of marital assets is fair for either spouse. But this does not necessarily mean that the division is on a fifty-fifty basis. There are a lot of factors to consider, but they have the same core idea – looking at the future financial situation of either spouse to create a fair and just division of properties. The factors may include each spouse’s earning capability, level of contribution to acquired marital properties, and future financial needs.

Depending on what state you are in, division of property and debt may be done either through community property or equitable distribution.

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Causes of Marital Problems

Posted by on Jan 5, 2014 in Family Life

Financial issues are one of the leading reasons for the rise in divorce rates in the United States. As couples can’t come to terms on their financial issues, they often give up and choose to get divorced. Tax problems become common grounds for financial issues in a marriage, and this usually stems from the couple not being able to communicate properly about their financial status.

Tying the knot not only affect the status but also tax and other financial concerns. Marriage can have particular tax considerations, and usually marriage offers more flexible tax advantages. However, even when partners discuss their financial status and responsibilities even before going down the aisle, chances are problems and financial challenges will come along the way; issues that can put a strain on an already strong marriage.

According to the website of Cedar Rapids law firm Arenson Law Group, PC, there are many business concerns that can arise when the relationship between the people in charge of the business are not getting along or are on the brink of splitting up. This can raise situations that need to be dealt with carefully. Among the business issues married businesspeople may face are arguments about handling debts, budgets, and emergency funds. Couples may consider and come to regret merging their money, investments, and financial secrets. Managing finances, especially in a marriage where both partners are contributing but only one handles the responsibility, can be tricky. This is because when things don’t go as planned, one person comes under attack. This rift in the relationship can eventually become too strenuous and cause both partners to feel cold towards each other.

When these situations happen but both partners agree to work things out, it helps to have a marriage counselor mediate between two troubled hearts and minds. Money and financial arguments are the leading causes of marital problems, thus going to a marriage counselor not only straightens out rifts that happened because of financial disagreements, but it can specially provide a more open view of how they can hearten their relationship to avoid future issues from cropping up. Married life is not all about happiness or bliss, it is a relationship that needs to be taken care of and worked on. When challenges such as tax or financial issues come along that both partners feel are too much for them to handle, going to a marriage counselor could keep their relationship intact, and when they are on the same page they can work out a plan to tackle the issues together as a family. But, by giving special and care to your relationship, your marriage can be happy, healthy and inspiring to other couples.

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